30 Seconds to Jared in my Pants

Beggar Lady: Don't I know you? You seem awfully familiar. Like some guy I vowed to spend the rest of my life with and with whom I had a child.

Sweeney: DAMN IT I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GLIMPSE AT PEOPLE

Beadle Bamford: It seems your face is known to me, but I guess you just have one of those faces. You're such a terrific barber!

Judge: You look familiar, like some man whose life I ruined by jailing him overseas as part of a plan to violate his wife. But I can't keep track of how many people I've done that to. Anyway, how about a shave?

Pirelli: You don't remember me, do you, but I recognize you because I worked with you for two weeks over a decade ago.

There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful

A foolish barber and his wife, she was his reason and his life

And she was beautiful, and she was virtuous, and he was…naive.

(Source: blueboxesinmaryland)

N A P E

Rhymes with….. grape.

(Source: mary-little-ray, via mars-or-die)